Summary Blog

            Throughout the semester, I spent my time researching the effects gender roles and expectations have in single-parent families.  As an individual who was blessed to be raised full-time by both of my parents, I thought it would be interesting to see how gender roles are displayed in homes where only one gender existed.  To make the research even more complex, I focused specifically on single parents raising a child of the opposite sex.  I received the bulk of my information through interviews done with two individuals who each identify themselves as a single parent.  I interviewed a 25 year-old male who is raising his two and a half year-old daughter, and I interviewed a 23 year-old female who is raising her two year-old son.  For the privacy of those being interviewed, I will refer to the male parent as John, and the female parent as Melissa. 

            Both interviewees were extremely willing to give information about their family experiences, specifically with respect to gender performance.  While I did provide four questions for them to answer, both John and Melissa were very fluid with their responses and spoke beyond the questions, giving a greater spectrum of information and making the project much richer and more fulfilling.  The questions I proposed to both interviewees were:

1. How has your gender performance changed since raising a child of the opposite sex?  2. In what ways, if any, do you find yourself compensating for the gender differences?  3. Are there any individuals in your life you look to for support or help with these gender differences?  If so, who?  4. Overall, do you think it would be easier for you to a raise a child of the same sex as yours or of the opposite?

            Since I identified in my previous blog that I wanted to look at gender roles in single-parent families through the lens of family as a social institution and gender as a social institution, I thought these questions were fitting to gain information, and also see if either of these concepts were evident in their daily routines with their children.  As I expected, I received a mixture of surprising and not as surprising responses to the questions above.  For example, after I asked the first question, both parents discussed the gender performance differences they’ve experienced since raising their child.  Melissa, who’s raising her two year-old son said, “I definitely pay more attention to cars because he’s obsessed with cars.  Whether it’s in a store or driving, I always point them out for him.  And I guess playing with him, I take on a more masculine role, like playing with cars and stuff like that” (Personal interview, 4/13/2012).  While I expected a response like this, I was surprised by her additional comments about her becoming more feminine as a result of raising her child.  “I’m also more womanly because I like to cook and bake for him” (Personal interview, 4/13/2012).  I hadn’t thought of this experience as enhancing their personal gender, so her acknowledgment of this taking place was extremely interesting. 

            John’s response to this question was also very unique.  While he met my expectation of talking solely about the gender role differences he has experienced since becoming a single father to his two and a half year-old daughter, he also emphasized the positive life change he has experienced.  He spoke extensively about his gained respect for woman and his daughter’s feminine habits.  “The emotion in her personality has slowly been coming to light.  It really focuses you to be careful about what you say and do because they watch everything, and little girls look to their dads so much.  It’s unbelievable how many mannerisms of mine she’s picked up” (Personal interview, 4/16/2012). 

            The second question, though included in the interview, wasn’t very helpful to my research.  Both John and Melissa answered the question during their response to question one.  Their responses to question three were also beneficial to my research.  While John and Melissa are unwed, they both have significant partners in their life to help guide gender roles.  Melissa acknowledged the heavy influence of male figures in her son’s life.  “He spends a lot of time with his dad, grandpa and great grandpa.  He loves it and is around other guys a lot” (Personal interview, 4/13/2012).  John also acknowledged the help he receives from females in his life to help raise his daughter in a more feminine way.  He focused a lot on the help he receives from his girlfriend and mom.  John also emphasized while it is sometimes difficult having multiple women put input into how he should be raising his daughter, he touched on the idea that learning from their past experiences has helped to reduce the trial and error aspect of parenting and has helped him to be a better parent (Personal interview, 4/16/2012). 

            Finally, to my surprise, both John and Melissa’s response to question four was that they both thought raising a child of the opposite sex would be easier.  Since neither of them have any other children of the same sex as their own, I was skeptical that they answered this question based on their experience with now only raising a child of the opposite sex, so I would be interested in furthering the research to include single parents who have at least one child of each sex.  I think looking at these individuals and their parenting styles through a gendered lens would be extremely interesting since they would be compensating for gender differences with one child and thriving on gender similarities with another.  Overall, I wish I could include everything they said during the interviews because it all was extremely interesting and unique as it was something I have never personally experienced. 

            Through the interviews, I was able to see how the information and experiences they provided both supported and refuted material discussed in the ideas of gender as a social institution and family as a social institution.  DeFrancisco and Palczewski (2007) identify gender roles as “commonly used to refer to feminine and masculine social expectations in a family based on a person’s sex” (p. 154).  While both John and Melissa identified with their personal gender, they each made efforts to perform the opposite gender as well to help teach their child gender expectations.  This action supports the idea behind gender as a social institution and family as a social institution in such a way that both parents are making changes to their personal behavior in an attempt to raise their children in an environment that is inclusive of their child’s respected gender.  It is clear by the actions of John and Melissa that stability in their families as well as stability in gender performance displayed by their children are very important aspects in their role as parents.  Additionally, since neither John nor Melissa identify with the nuclear family, which is composed of a two-parent household (DeFrancisco & Palczewski, 2007), they are less prone to the results of family as a social institution.  While I would still argue that they are still influenced by society enough that they experience the effects of family as a social institution, I think they are more able to have leeway in their parenting expectations and familial roles. 

            Overall, I really enjoyed the assignment and definitely gained a greater respect for single-parent families.  The adjustments and sacrifices they make in order to compensate for the lack of an additional parent is humbling and extremely encouraging to see.  As I assessed the relationships I have with my parents, I am able to see where each of their gender performance is displayed in my personal behavior.  While I obviously take on feminine roles brought on by my mother, I also identify with masculine roles a lot as a result of my father.  I think John’s claim that daughters grow very close to their fathers and sons grow very close to their mothers is very evident in my experience.  

With this in mind, I think this song is fitting with both my personal experience with the relationship I have with my father, but also with the results of my research, and the responses both John and Melissa had concerning raising a child of the opposite sex. 

Tim McGraw's "My Little Girl"

Works Cited

 DeFrancisco, V. P., & Palczewski, C. H. (2007). Communicating gender diversity. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Publications Inc. 

Personal Interview with John (4/16/2012)

Personal Interview with Melissa (4/13/2012)

Application of Course Concepts

            Since my introduction, I have tweaked my assignment a bit.  Originally, I was looking for an extremely specific target for my interview, which was a very difficult process.  As a result, I have decided to broaden my scope of research; instead of searching for an interviewee of atheistic beliefs as well as maintaining a single parent household, I have decided to focus my research solely on the single parent household. While the idea of specifying my objective with respect to religion would be very interesting and beneficial, finding a single-parent atheist was more difficult than expected after inquiring the few atheists that I came in contact with. Thus, I felt that examining the single-parent household was more relatable in my investigation of gender role performance.

            My project will focus primarily on two course concepts: family as a social institution and gender as a social institution.  “By focusing on family as an institution, we make clear how practices that at first glance appear to be innocent, idiosyncratic family traditions are actually contributors to the institutionalization of gender/sex discrimination” (DeFrancisco & Palczewski, 2007, p. 154).  DeFrancisco and Palczewski (2007) identify gender roles as “commonly used to refer to feminine and masculine social expectations in a family based on a person’s sex” (p. 154).  With this in mind, I want to further examine how family as a social institution teaches gender roles, specifically when looking at single-parent households.  As a class we discussed the nuclear family with great detail, but I am curious how single parents compensate for the lack of the opposite gender when teaching traditional gender roles.  Additionally, I’m curious not only how the parent performs gender roles, but also examine how the children’s gender roles are affected by the lack of a parent.   

            The second area of course material I am focusing on is gender as a social institution.  Sociologist Patricia Yancey Martin outlines 12 characteristics of social institutions.  While all of them provide insight as to why gender is a social institution, a couple of them are more applicable to my research: institutions constrain and facilitate behavior and designation social positions characterized by expectations and norms.  Although I have not done my interviews yet, I am interested to see how these ideas appear in their responses.  I am so looking forward to the responses I receive based on these questions and concepts.  I wish to look at least one family where there is a single-father household and one family where there is a single-mother household.  Looking at different genders will help to diminish biased or one-sided answers.